Not gonna lie…today was a rough one. Not necessarily due to taking care of my sweet boy all day (and night;) ) either. More related to my mindset. Life is completely different now with a little one in tow. I’m on maternity leave until mid February, which means I’ve transitioned from a fulltime career to being at home all day. Today, for instance, I didn’t have a chance to grab a shower and change out of my pajamas until 4pm. Sometimes I feel lonely, then I feel guilty for feeling lonely. Then I start to stress about things. See, when you’re alone all day, there’s no one to vent to and your mind can begin going a bit nuts. I stressed about going back to work, having someone else watch Kallen, guilt for the fact that someone will be watching him. Then, I moved onto stressing over my postpartum weight loss journey ahead of me. I stressed about feeling like Keith and I haven’t had a chance to connect or sit down together in quite some time. Whew, that’s a lot!
What helped me put all of this into perspective? A really good, sweaty spin class. I went to my first spin postpartum this evening. After a long cry on the way there, I left it all on my bike. My lungs were on fire and my legs burnt, but for some reason a spin class is just like a good therapy session. Tonight taught me that life is all about perspective. I can choose to be sad or overwhelmed or stressed. BUT, I can also choose to be grateful and happy. I can choose to be grateful for the awesome career I have which will help provide for my family and give me something to challenge myself in outside of role as mama. I can be grateful for my health and that I had such a great delivery, allowing me to return even before 6 weeks after delivery. I can smile at the fact that my husband and I have a wonderful relationship, and while things might be different now, it doesn’t make them bad. Most of all I can remind myself how utterly blessed I am to be Kallen’s mama.
To wrap all of this up, I don’t have the answers for this wild ride as a new mama, but I can continue to remind myself that perspective can truly turn make or break you!